WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSITY OF WINDSOR!

by Heather W:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a dashing one, but you won’t be heinous! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number eighty university in Canada in terms of crab-person satisfaction, and number one in terms of moldy grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the egg department, which means that they can finally afford cows!

-Thanks to campus pipes on duty 24 hours a day, we can aggressively say that it’s now safe to thrust at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to an old webcam,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: Climb the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as beautiful as we do. Good luck with the coming sewage tanks!


by Lauren K:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was an illustrious one, but you won’t be invincible! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 1987 university in Canada in terms of bat satisfaction, and number 5 in terms of grainy grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the wallaby department, which means that they can finally afford hula dancers!

-Thanks to campus penguins on duty 24 hours a day, we can readily say that it’s now safe to combust at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a stinky lady,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: fellate the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as awesome as we do. Good luck with the coming koalas!


by Genevieve Macintyre:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a hairy one, but you won’t be red! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 42 university in Canada in terms of cat satisfaction, and number 7 in terms of fermented grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the car department, which means that they can finally afford keyboards!

-Thanks to campus toilet paper rolls on duty 24 hours a day, we can happily say that it’s now safe to honk at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a hairy elf,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: run the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as nothing as we do. Good luck with the coming cow bells!


by Dad & Mom:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a hairy one, but you won’t be crappy! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 42 university in Canada in terms of horse satisfaction, and number 97 in terms of smelly grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the dung department, which means that they can finally afford piles!

-Thanks to campus hemorrhoids on duty 24 hours a day, we can slowly say that it’s now safe to seep at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a lonely dwarf,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: think the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as angry as we do. Good luck with the coming monkeys!


by Eric A.:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a creepy one, but you won’t be fat! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 97 university in Canada in terms of card satisfaction, and number 29 in terms of carpeted grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the pillow department, which means that they can finally afford stairs!

-Thanks to campus dice on duty 24 hours a day, we can quickly say that it’s now safe to snap at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a broken wallet,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: gargle the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as loud as we do. Good luck with the coming spaces!

by Sparrow Misterioso:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a sloppy one, but you won’t be sarcastic! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 13 university in Canada in terms of beer satisfaction, and number 21 in terms of talkative grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the field department, which means that they can finally afford minds!

-Thanks to campus souls on duty 24 hours a day, we can heartily say that it’s now safe to chew at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a sparkly basin,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: shimmer the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as enthusiastic as we do. Good luck with the coming galoshes!


by Craven!:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a cheap one, but you won’t be drunk! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 7 university in Canada in terms of goat satisfaction, and number 34 in terms of tired grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the wheelbarrow department, which means that they can finally afford boobies!

-Thanks to campus undies on duty 24 hours a day, we can slipperily say that it’s now safe to poop at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a stanky racing stripe,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: shoot the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as melancholy as we do. Good luck with the coming buddhas!


by Cristina:

Welcome to the University of Windsor! We understand that your decision to attend our institution was a grimy one, but you won’t be moist! Here are some reasons why:

-Maclean’s magazine has named the U of Windsor the number 555 university in Canada in terms of lamp satisfaction, and number 666 in terms of sarcastic grades.

-We’ve recently doubled the budget of the trumpet department, which means that they can finally afford screwdrivers!

-Thanks to campus cats on duty 24 hours a day, we can amazingly say that it’s now safe to decompose at night!

-We’ve gotten rid of our old slogan: “You’re this close to a shiny starfish,” and have replaced it with the far superior “University of Windsor: read the magic!”

We hope that you find the University as prickly as we do. Good luck with the coming unicorns!


As you can see, I tried some new stuff out for this blog, including bolding the words that were supplied by you guys, and I also included a picture I photoshopped to match with one of the stories. Are these changes, particularly the bolding, for the better? Or do they make the pieces distracting? Let me know!

Anyways, the words I need for the next Mad Blog (entitled "A Guide to Dating, Part 1: Meeting the Right Person) are as follows (again, I'm going to be toying with some ideas, so bear with me):

- name of religion
- member of family
- pre-existing url (preferably non-pornographic)
- adjective
- verb
- plural noun
- verb ending in "ing"
- adjective
- noun
- exclamation
- verb

See you soon: Same Mad Blog time, same Mad Blog channel.